On Sunday, we lit candles in worship for our fallen soldiers, very similar to what I've done on All Saint's Sunday at United Lutheran in the past few years. Yesterday, we honored the minute of silence at 3:00 PM local time. I actually spoke over the post loudspeaker system to read a memorial tribute, call for silence, then play Taps. My first time speaking to an audience of 8000+ people. I think I'll stick with somewhat smaller groups when I can.

Otherwise, I'm counting the weeks remaining just like everyone else. My counseling load has skyrocketed over the last couple of weeks. As always, the primary issues are combat stress and relationships back home. The relationships issue has been particularly vexing. Marriages that held on for a long time are ending, and my only theory is that the fear of getting back together after two years apart is causing some spouses to bolt. I guess that's not surprising. After being gone so long, I wonder a lot what life will be like when I get back. I've changed, my family has changed, the church has changed. Those changes already have part of me feeling unsettled at the idea of starting again / starting over in so many things. I guess most of us are feeling both happy and unsettled at what's around the corner when we come back.

With the increased counseling load, I find myself again struggling to keep up any energy on a consistent basis. A while back, the ministry teams and mental health providers out here were provided a short presentation on compassion fatigue or caregiver's fatigue. There was a checklist of symptoms defining caregiver's fatigue and caregiver's burnout, and I had to laugh because I pretty much checked 'yes' across the board to every symptom. I'm hardly the only one; when you listen to people's pain every day for this long, and you get exactly 18 days off in a 20 month span, well, you're going to be exhausted. But what is the way out except forward, to keep doing my job for the two months we have remaining and hope that I can find some rest when I finally get home. That is my plan, by the way, to catch up on a lot of things when I return but especially just on the Sabbath rest and renewal that is so sorely lacking.

One thing I'm NOT tired of is receiving mail and pictures from home. I especially want to thank everyone who helped me and Michelle celebrate our 10 year anniversary last Thursday. While it was painful to be separated, it was very, very uplifting to have the love and support of so many people. As for Michelle and me, we still plan to celebrate our 10 year and 3 month anniversary in August, so we'll get our chance to do this in person yet. But for now, my thanks to everyone who helped us find joy in this milestone.

God be good to you!
CH Steve Timm